Don’t give advice, before you accept this

I cannot predict the future of my feelings. Not exactly. I cannot control them forever. Yours are even more difficult.

I withhold my judgment about the final form of my values. Yours, too.

Still, humans are not so different underneath. What keeps us different is that we run from the straightforward.

You want to go to that restaurant. You want to watch that movie. You want to go fishing. You want to travel to the state park, or Broadway, or the rodeo. To Montana, or Japan, or Croatia, or Brazil.
You want a good life. Probably you want a smart, funny, happy, beautiful partner. Maybe you want smart, funny, happy, beautiful kids.
You want success. You want to get that promotion. You want to quit and start again.
You want stability, and uniformity, and protection, and quiet, and sanity.
You want instability, and freedom, and noise, and chaos.
You want to want things. You want to be free from wanting things.
You want to feel something. You want to not feel something.

None of this is so hard to explain. Simple, actually. But your mind lifts off from the simple. Life intervenes.

You can’t feel relieved until this is over. You must solve this problem first.

Your feelings are a distraction. You can’t deal with them right now. But ultimately, they’re what drove you here. To this little realm of forgery, and complacency, and contingency. This inadequate place. Even this hell.

You do it for your children? They will do it for their children. It is just as beautiful as you know it is. But you are distracted, more than you could be. There is more friction than there should be. Your children do not deserve how much you keep yourself away and unfeeling. But you have no time to learn what is underneath you. That is unpredictable and dangerous and weird.

You don’t value beauty? Truth, then? Truth lights the path... that takes you away from the straightforward. Truth is good; you can have it. Paths are good; you should follow them. But how often will you return? Will you travel into the desolate salt plains, and losing yourself, build a home there forever, for you and your children?

You are lost in a wilderness right now. Did you know that?

Work is important. Precision is important, certainly. But that is not where beauty and love live. Not exactly. Have you ever found them within you, uncomplicated? I promise you, you can find them there. They may seem distant and quiet, but all you need is patience, and you will find them there. Then, you will start to find them in everything.

Universal love? You do not want all humanity to collapse into a mindless union, and I agree. Exploration is good; even stagnation can be good. They are part of our story. I do not want to take our story away. I do not want to short-circuit our childhood. Do you find it silly that you were ever an infant?

Will you try to reform the universe in your image? Are you striving for glory? Do you think you are creating something important? Maybe I agree. But where does glory live? What does it serve, there?

Do you think you can escape death?

You do not need to give up your job, your hobbies, your restaurants, your fishing, your movies. You do not need to give up your family. Perhaps you will not even die for a very long time.

Do not try to predict the future of your feelings, not exactly. Do not try to perfectly control them. You will be disappointed. I promise you will either destroy yourself, or be disappointed.

Do not try to exactly predict the future of my feelings. Do not assume my complications are your complications. Well, sometimes they are, but the only way you will know is by seeing through your own complications first.

Remember all of this, if you find yourself wanting to give advice. The things we share most are the simple things. If you do not see that first, your advice is just a story about your own complications. There is value in that, but it is not the best you can do.